Jan 1, 2016

The Big Snatch

Absolutely adults only!
Hello fellow connoisseurs, hoping you had a decent new year celebration, as promised in the last entry of 2015, we will begin 2016 with some of the hottest sexploitation films you gotta watch before you die. Today we continue our humble tribute to one of the hottest most under rated sexploitation starlets: Peggy Church

The Big Snatch is a 1971 sexploitation film starred by Peggy Church, Jane Tsentas & Uschi Degard. As the title already suggests, in this film we will see a lot of hairy, big "snatches" in action. Now, the meaning of the word "Snatch" comes second to "Cunt" as perhaps the most offensive way of referring to a girl's vagina. When someone talks about a "cunt" or a "snatch" it is mostly meaning a dirty & smelly vagina rather than a pristine fresh one. This film doesn't feature any "dirty" or "smelly" vagigis, on the contrary it features some stunning women you wish you had laying next to you in your bed for some Netflix and Chill, while in reality you're all about Netflix & Jill

For more educational English you can surely visit the Urban Dictionary to have a laugh while learning the latest in dirty talk trends.

Alright girls, here's the deal.
Our intentions are purely sexual.
The Big Snatch in a nutshell is nothing but one of the many films based upon a kidnap that later ends up in rape in the weirdest way (all kidnapped girls seem to love fucking strangers! and they also offer little to no resistance at all!) This movie was directed by Dan Martin whom used the pseudonym "Ronnie Runningboard" in the credits because, at that time, he was a deputy sheriff with the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department!!!!!!, which OBVIOUSLY did not look kindly upon its deputies making softcore porn flicks. 

Trashfilm legend David F. Friedman ("Blood Feast" etc.) says this film was made for a mere $11.000. No money or talent can't hide the fact that this flick is pretty sick and disturbing. Two low lives abduct some saucy chicks and abuse them for days even though it looks like the women are enjoyin' the rape!?! It also seems like it would be pretty easy for the women to escape from the isolated ranch. But in the end they've had enough and boob queen Uschi Digart ("Supervixens", "Getting Into Heaven" etc.) says; "Let's sock it to'em!" and the girls castrate one guy and shag the other to death! I ain't kiddin'. As Un-PC as you can get, so of course any sleaze junkie must possess this roughie from Something Weird! 

Sleaze is the name of the game!
You've been a naughty girl!

Young Rene (Ginnie Kindall) is kidnapped off a playground swing set. Right after flying into town, lesbian Lillian (Tracy Handfuss) is forced at gun point into the back of a truck. Housewife Colette ("Barbara Que" / Uschi Digard) is out watering the lawn in broad daylight when she gets swiped right off her front yard. Innocent 18-year-old virgin Bernice ("Rita Book" / Peggy Church) is snacking on Lays (foreshadowing?) chips when she's snatched off the street. And finally, leggy blonde party girl Pamela ("Nancy Nice" / Jane Tsentas) is abducted immediately after leaving a bar. All five girls don't know it yet but they've all fallen into the clutches of whiny long-haired perv Bart. Bart, who's played by the butt ugly "Harry Chest," who incidentally has no hair on his chest, drives them out miles into the desert to his remote home and then gives them the scoop on what's going on. They're to be his sex slaves and obey his every wish. They're to call him "master" while he calls them "pig." They'll eat... when and if he wants them to. They're to stick to a strenuous exercise routine to keep in good shape. If any of them try to escape they've been warned that the grounds are surrounded by trained, savage dogs who will eat them alive. And if they disobey or are caught doing something they aren't supposed to do, the girls will have to whip the disobedient one.

Bart is assisted by his bigger and perhaps even uglier mute sidekick Momo (played by Momo), who carries around a piece of hose to whip the girls with. Bart even bosses poor Momo around and refuses to let any of the girls have sex with him, causing the frustrated Momo to try to rape whatever girl he can get his hands on. Because he found Pamela at a nightclub and she's wearing a short skirt, Bart decides to "rape" her first but she goes along with it simply because she'll do anything to survive. The girls are then taken to a drained out swimming pool and are forced to do in-place jogging, push ups, leg lifts and topless toe touches. One girl is forced to get on all fours and is used as a step stool. While Bart is having his way with Colette, the lesbian takes the virgin out into the brush and helps her "relax" by rubbing her shoulders and then going down on her. When it's time for the virgin to give it up, she refuses so Bart has her tied to a running truck motor to "steam your clam open" so that he'll have "one well-basted bird."

Peggy Church's
The infamous pussy boiling scene.
After being raped, beaten and tortured for nearly an hour, the girls finally decide they've had enough and decide to get revenge. One of the girls seduces Momo, the others hold him down and then castrate him with a pair of vise grip pliers (!) They then manage to get the upper hand on Bart and then decide to give him a taste of his own medicine by forcing him to go through everything they went through. He gets his dick squeezed with the pliers, is forced to dance and exercise naked and is then beat with the hose. for an encore the girls decide to "sock it to him night and day nonstop" (i.e. screw him) until he's dead. I've got to admit, I've never seen a man gang raped to death by five women before. Now I have. Thank you Big Snatch for enriching my life.

There are trashy movies and then there are movies so trashy the sleaze goes right through the roof into the stratosphere. This is one of *those* movies. It looks extremely cheap (not surprising since the budget was just 11 thousand dollars), has awful acting and photography and much of the time the "rapes" seem a little too enjoyable for the "victim," but this is amusing enough to pass the time, most of the females look good and there's a mean-spirited twist at the end that's kind of good. Everyone was so embarrassed by this they used fake names and the credits are hilarious. The cameraman is "Otto Focus," the sound was done by "Less Noise" and the grip was "Jim Nasium." Something Weird distribute this on DVD-R and it's certainly worth a gander if you like this kind of stuff. 

I'm cum craving, can you help me master?
Fucking and eating a sandwich just because.
Overall, The Big Snatch is one of the many borderline softcore flicks the 70's gave birth just because porn films weren't thought of as actual films. Coincidentally, the rated X censorship tag used to warn audiences of the content of a film, became a very effective marketing campaign for most of these films that everyone calls "Softcore" as in "a lot of full frontal nudity but either no real sex acts or no close ups of sucking, penetration, etc" Some people talk about "Soft Porn" but I strongly disagree with such term. Some Porn movies made for cable TV are usually edited to be broadcasted without what makes them a porno in the first place but, who fucking cares, this conversation is about The Big Snatch, not a lesson in vocabulary or boring marketing strategies made by grey corporate people. 

Unfortunately, we found neither the film trailer nor excerpts from this classic sleaze, see you soon with more sexploitation reviews!

Death by fucking!

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